Today is one such day again,
I am missing you...
Missing you so deeply that its killing me.
Can you hear me?Does it matter to you?
I wish i could see you just once.
I wish i could hold your hand and go for a long walk with you.
I wish i could sob on your shoulder for hours without a word,
without having to explain anything.
Would you understand? Would you care that you mean so much to me?
I know you wont .You never have and nor you would.
I am quite used to living with your inexpressiveness and coldness.
The irony is its not a compulsion but a choice.
May be its a compulsive choice...
At times i feel what if this choice fades away?
What i feel for you is as pure as Ganges,
Why am i still holding on to this desire is beyond my understanding?
Knowing that it has no meaning,
Knowing that it will never fulfil,
Knowing that you wont care,
All i know is i am missing you very much!
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
What do you want from life?
Answer to this question is either too tough or too easy...its like a GK question either u know it or u dont.Just to pass time with a few kids i popped up this quetion amongst them. These were the answers they gave:
I (Age around 16-17 years)-I want a lot of money.
II(Age 13-14 years)- Again Money-according to him money is solution to all problems.
III(Age 11-12 years)-
i)wants a BMW
ii)wants a very beautiful home
iii)wants to drive a bike full speed
IV (Age 7-8 years)-Di mere paas toh sab kuch hai.I want nothing.On a little prodding he goes,I want to come first in my class,ek baar di bas ek baar.
Of all the wants his was the most genuine n honest want. A want which came straight from heart.A want which wasnt just wishful thinking.Whatever we desire in our life comes from the love we have for such thing or person. The deeper the love the stronger the desire.And want is not an end in itself its a means to an end. That little kid probably doesnt know what he actually wants from his life but he surely knows what little thing is most important to him at this age.
Finding a purpose to life,finding that one reason for which we were sent here is as important as breathing.That one work which is not a burden.That one work which we can do throughout life passionately.
Cant think how should i wind up this post but that little kids' innocent words are still making me smile.
Dialogue of the post: "The purpose of life is to be happy"-Atlas Shrugged.
I (Age around 16-17 years)-I want a lot of money.
II(Age 13-14 years)- Again Money-according to him money is solution to all problems.
III(Age 11-12 years)-
i)wants a BMW
ii)wants a very beautiful home
iii)wants to drive a bike full speed
IV (Age 7-8 years)-Di mere paas toh sab kuch hai.I want nothing.On a little prodding he goes,I want to come first in my class,ek baar di bas ek baar.
Of all the wants his was the most genuine n honest want. A want which came straight from heart.A want which wasnt just wishful thinking.Whatever we desire in our life comes from the love we have for such thing or person. The deeper the love the stronger the desire.And want is not an end in itself its a means to an end. That little kid probably doesnt know what he actually wants from his life but he surely knows what little thing is most important to him at this age.
Finding a purpose to life,finding that one reason for which we were sent here is as important as breathing.That one work which is not a burden.That one work which we can do throughout life passionately.
Cant think how should i wind up this post but that little kids' innocent words are still making me smile.
Dialogue of the post: "The purpose of life is to be happy"-Atlas Shrugged.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Jane Tu Ya Jane Na...from my eyes
Hindi movies are an integral part of my life since quite long.I remember at the time of Dilwale...being released i used to be so damn excited that sleep would just drift away from my eyes for nights.
I thought at 23 you kind of get settled with such emotions of yours. But naah i was wrong Jane Tu...was one such movie for which i felt the same genre of excitement. Although movie aint that great but some moments are so beautiful that i was deeply touched. My definition of "being touched" by something says that somewhere i am able to relate it with my own life.
That scene between Aditi and her brother where he goes "You were my only friend". How it reminded me that our siblings are one of the closest people in our lives n we so comfortably take them for granted, treat them as badly as we can showing them our true colours all the time.
The movie showed contrasts between two family backgrounds although in a very subtle way. The result Aditi a very confident, unassuming n carefree girl. Other result Meghna a girl living in fairytailish world. Mom n Dad's chemistry plays an important role in child's life.
Coming to Ratz n Meow ( the protagonists)...the comfort level shown in their friendship was beautiful. It has strengthened my belief that your life partner should be n must be a friend first.The relief you get after shouting your heart out in an angry moment...nothing is more cathartic experience than this :-).
A word about IMRAAN his light pink moist eyes have something in them...that quiet strength of character, that concern for his pal and of course that beating the other guy in his own home ("Mom usney Aditi par haath uthaya"...)were some really wonderful things about him.
Aditi...every girl has a bit of her in them... jealousy, childishness(the way she takes off her sandals while looking at Ratzz in Pappu...had something about it) n best moment when she fights with some college guy for Ratz ("Teri ma bhi tere ko wahin se utha ke laayi hogi")...God! i couldn't help clapping at that.
Friends realising that they were actually lovers quite late is a huge possibility...so stay alert n realise it before its too late as life isnt a movie.
Dialogue of the post: Aditi to Jay, He gets late to wish her on her Birthday,"We spoke because we liked speaking to each other, there is no compulsion, it aint a responsibility which has to be fulfilled"
(Something like that not exact words.)
I thought at 23 you kind of get settled with such emotions of yours. But naah i was wrong Jane Tu...was one such movie for which i felt the same genre of excitement. Although movie aint that great but some moments are so beautiful that i was deeply touched. My definition of "being touched" by something says that somewhere i am able to relate it with my own life.
That scene between Aditi and her brother where he goes "You were my only friend". How it reminded me that our siblings are one of the closest people in our lives n we so comfortably take them for granted, treat them as badly as we can showing them our true colours all the time.
The movie showed contrasts between two family backgrounds although in a very subtle way. The result Aditi a very confident, unassuming n carefree girl. Other result Meghna a girl living in fairytailish world. Mom n Dad's chemistry plays an important role in child's life.
Coming to Ratz n Meow ( the protagonists)...the comfort level shown in their friendship was beautiful. It has strengthened my belief that your life partner should be n must be a friend first.The relief you get after shouting your heart out in an angry moment...nothing is more cathartic experience than this :-).
A word about IMRAAN his light pink moist eyes have something in them...that quiet strength of character, that concern for his pal and of course that beating the other guy in his own home ("Mom usney Aditi par haath uthaya"...)were some really wonderful things about him.
Aditi...every girl has a bit of her in them... jealousy, childishness(the way she takes off her sandals while looking at Ratzz in Pappu...had something about it) n best moment when she fights with some college guy for Ratz ("Teri ma bhi tere ko wahin se utha ke laayi hogi")...God! i couldn't help clapping at that.
Friends realising that they were actually lovers quite late is a huge possibility...so stay alert n realise it before its too late as life isnt a movie.
Dialogue of the post: Aditi to Jay, He gets late to wish her on her Birthday,"We spoke because we liked speaking to each other, there is no compulsion, it aint a responsibility which has to be fulfilled"
(Something like that not exact words.)
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
NOT FAIR GOD
Writing is a weird thing especially in my case. I can only write when my emotions are so badly stirred that i need a vent through writng. Today is one such day.
Why does it have to happen to her always. My hollow words are incapable of inspiring or encouraging here anymore.I thought my life was full of so many twists n turns but this tsunami in her life has made my problems seem so trivial. Her sad face, her taers, that hopelessness, that trying to be normal. I just cant believe at the unfairness being done to her. God you cant be so brutal, so cruel to her. She wont be able to bear it.
Her words are still reverbating in my head. Her voice is ingrained in me. N i just cant do anything for her.Just NOTHING!!What would happen? I cant believe its happening to her.That pain i felt in her was beyond words n God what are you upto...ITS UNFAIR...ITS UNFAIR...IT IS DAMNNNN UNFAIR.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
A farewell note
Have you ever been in loveBeen in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to sayAnd you don't know where to start
Have you ever found the oneYou've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
Have you ever loved somebody so muchIt makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night?Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right?Have you ever.....?
(Not my orignal writing copied from somwhere...yeah plagiarism right :-) )
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to sayAnd you don't know where to start
Have you ever found the oneYou've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
Have you ever loved somebody so muchIt makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night?Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right?Have you ever.....?
(Not my orignal writing copied from somwhere...yeah plagiarism right :-) )
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
On Valentines Eve...
Valentines has this effect on me every year...i tend to get overexcited wanting to make every valentine a sweet memory...mood aint that good this time but lets see what tomorrow brings with itself.
Love is the most beautiful feel a person can feel.Yesterday i saw Devdas after quite long and somehow i was comparing Chandermukhi 's and Paro's version of love. Had Paro wanted Dev would have been hers but she chose her pride and ego(god this word is teasing me today!) over her love.
On the other hand was Chandermukhi whose love was as pure as the Ganges...as it aroused from the respect Dev showed in her. Which version of love our generation is looking at? I believe 90%of junta is Paro version...my ego my self respect blah blah...but aint love about letting go...isnt it about being giving...loving even if someone does nt love you....as they say love is not conditional...if i love you you should not ought to love me...probably this sounds more out of fairy tale or impractical...but according to me this is my version of love...loads ov love
Happy valentines...
Deep in my heart i am concealing things that i am longing to say.
Scared to confess what i am feeling-frightened u'll slip away!
Love is the most beautiful feel a person can feel.Yesterday i saw Devdas after quite long and somehow i was comparing Chandermukhi 's and Paro's version of love. Had Paro wanted Dev would have been hers but she chose her pride and ego(god this word is teasing me today!) over her love.
On the other hand was Chandermukhi whose love was as pure as the Ganges...as it aroused from the respect Dev showed in her. Which version of love our generation is looking at? I believe 90%of junta is Paro version...my ego my self respect blah blah...but aint love about letting go...isnt it about being giving...loving even if someone does nt love you....as they say love is not conditional...if i love you you should not ought to love me...probably this sounds more out of fairy tale or impractical...but according to me this is my version of love...loads ov love
Happy valentines...
Deep in my heart i am concealing things that i am longing to say.
Scared to confess what i am feeling-frightened u'll slip away!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
:-) :-(
So new year has begun n its the sixth day today.Last year was quite eventful....although it dint look so when it was going on but looking back i realise so much happened. I became people deletion expert:-).It can be aptly called a "relationship year"....a lot of rush of people is out of life now...i miss them a lot at times but i believe all happened for good....my priorities ...what i expect from myself n my life....got clearer.
God what do i write about today....a thing i had been waiting to happen (rather to make it happen) happened today....n how did it happen? Incredible...how insensitive can people be to others?No manners...no ettiquates to say things.....ah but its good another one deleted...i am so relieved...although it dint happen in the manner i wanted but at least it did.
Today i am feeling as if a new cleaned slate has been given to me.....to draw again the sketch of life...a new start...a fresh begining....
Dialogue of the post
Read on someone's orkut profile:
koi aaye to welcome, jaaye to bheed kam... mast nbindass raho
God what do i write about today....a thing i had been waiting to happen (rather to make it happen) happened today....n how did it happen? Incredible...how insensitive can people be to others?No manners...no ettiquates to say things.....ah but its good another one deleted...i am so relieved...although it dint happen in the manner i wanted but at least it did.
Today i am feeling as if a new cleaned slate has been given to me.....to draw again the sketch of life...a new start...a fresh begining....
Dialogue of the post
Read on someone's orkut profile:
koi aaye to welcome, jaaye to bheed kam... mast nbindass raho
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