I wonder does it happen to others too?I think its a bit abnormal.I am getting mentally numb.Somebody shouted at me today,somebody told something funny,i faced a terrible accident right in front of my eyes,somebody else also spoke in a rude way,somebody showed his rolex,somebody bought a new car,somebody just got engaged and i feel absolutely nothing,I am getting reactionless.Everything around is fine but i feel like a Ghost not at all interested in anything.
I believe its not fine to feel like this at the age of 24 but thats how I feel ,the only time I feel alive is when I speak to those little kids,their shining bright eyes are infectious.'Dids kaisa gaya din'?I 'll say good.I ask them back and they start off from Maths class to Science class to canteen to tuition,they keep speaking non stop till their whole day's description ends.
At my age people are raring to go, new ambitions for life- loads of money ,swanky cars,big houses,parties etc etc.I feel desireless for all such things.Not that I want a spartan life but right now these things dont seem to be so important.
I am not sad or depressed,I am just trying to understand what am I feeling.Its a hollow sinking feeling as if I am missing something badly but dont know what it is.It is as if life around me is running at a break neck speed and I am standing still unaffected,as if nothing matters,as if I am in some deep sleep with eyes wide open.I wake up n everything around is fine but there is some storm going on inside,wish I could make out what it is!
